Eve of my departure. Some seriously mixed emotions. There's excitement, of course. There's nervousness and anxiety that makes me want to panic and run. There's happiness and sadness. There's readiness swirling with a feeling of being completely unprepared.
I would love to just snap my fingers and be in France, and avoid the stresses of packing, saying goodbye, etc. But, traveling is just that...traveling. Therefore the stuffed suitcases, stress, and sadness are somewhat unavoidable.
When I woke up this morning, the first thought that popped into my head was, "Tomorrow morning is the last morning I'll wake up in this bed for three and a half months." My next thought was, "But, tomorrow begins the greatest adventure of my life."
If I wasn't traveling abroad this semester, I'd be just fine. I'd be happy, have tons of friends, be at ease...everything would stay comfortably the same. I know, though, that a challenge is good for me. A change is good for me. And, in the long run, discomfort for a time will just make me stronger.
I feel like Harry Potter or Frodo Baggins (yes, I did just make that reference)...about to go on one scary adventure, but it'll be worth it in the end. Actually, when it comes down to it, I'm probably more like Ron Weasley or Samwise Gamgee...awkward, lovable, not always courageous, but nevertheless attempting to do what I can to get through.
All I know is, I've been hitting my knees and raising my hands to the Lord every night, and will continue to do so, until I find my footing and security in a different place.
My host family lives next to a beautiful church (at least, according to the stalking I've done on Google maps...Street View is AWESOME). When I need it, I cannot wait to slip into its cool, shadowy darkness and find sanctuary and a sense of peace.
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